用恩慈來融化配偶的心 護家中心 – 蘿斯

用恩慈來融化配偶的心 護家中心 – 蘿斯

最近看了一部好電影「爭戰房間」（War Room)，除了演技不俗之外，還有一些搞笑和感人的片段。戲中夫妻的寫照給我的啟發有兩點：

1)禱告是強而有力的，而且它果真有效；

2)一句氣話就能摧毀婚姻。

影片一開始就是丈夫和妻子粗聲大氣地吵架。他們皺着眉頭，握緊拳頭，話語充滿著指責和埋怨；稍停，各自躲到角落去喘口氣，未幾，下一個舌戰回合又開始。每當他們張嘴時，噴湧而出的都是惡毒言語，戲中夫妻二人劍拔弩張，令觀眾意識到他們的婚姻危機已

面臨無法挽回的地步。

可是，妻子開始改變了！她經歷了一連串的切身事故，又接受了一位長者的勸勉，當她重新恢復對丈夫的愛，並開始為他祈禱時，卻實實在在慢慢地改變她自己的態度。她的心柔軟了，不再對丈夫有負面的想法，也注意使用正面的話語溝通。因她舉止行為突然的180度轉變，丈夫竟疑心她在食物中下毒，趁她不覺時，偷偷地和她對調了餐盤。隨着妻子持久的努力，上帝回答了她的禱告，丈夫的心被軟化了。結局正是這對原本吵駡的夫妻重燃愛火。

我和丈夫的婚姻不算完美。但我很感恩我們一直是以恩慈彼此對待。我們在解決問題而意見分歧時，知道需要很多寬恕和謙卑才能保持相愛，所以我們都會記得說有恩慈的話。

因為我們相信，話語有醫治、和毀壞的雙重力量。正如箴言15章1節說：「回答柔和使怒

消退，言語暴戾觸動怒氣。」

一個簡單的「請」和「謝謝」會奇妙地融化你配偶的心。或將愛付之行動：在嚴冬清晨，做一頓豐富的早餐送到配偶的床前。看起来也許只是一個平凡的舉動，但是，當恩慈話語和柔情心意加起來，婚姻就滿有相愛和尊重。若有一方願意捨棄自己的好處去成全對方，不難擁有幸福婚姻。那麼，讓我們先成為那個「給」的人吧！

Killing Your Spouse with Kindness HFRC – Ruth

I watched “War Room” this week. It was a good movie with fairly good acting, funny andtouching moments. I came away with two reminders: one, that prayer is powerful and it works, and two, that marriages can be torn down by a single word.

The movie starts out with a husband and wife who do what husbands and wives do on occasion – they fight. With furrowed brows and clenched fists, they exchange mean words, throw around accusations and blame, and retreat to their own corners till the

next match. Every time they open their mouths, you know what comes out is not going to be pretty. And with each word they spew, the tension on the screen grows and grows until you wonder if the characters’ relationship will soon be irreparable.

But through a series of events and the not-so- by-chance help of an older, the wife starts changing her ways. The change comes slowly, but surely, as she renews her love for her husband and begins praying for him. Her heart softens to the point where she no longer has anything negative to say to him. Her words and attitude toward him are so different that at one point he wonders if she secretly poisoned his meal, and switches dinner plates with her when she’s not looking. And with time, God answers the wife’s prayers and works in the husband’s life and heart to soften him up, too。

Now I don’t profess to have a perfect marriage, but one thing I do appreciate about our relationship is the courtesy we extend toward one another. Oh, we have our share of disagreements and messy moments that require lots of forgiveness and humility to move past, but most of the time, we try to be kind with our words. Because we know that words have the power to heal or destroy. As in the words of Proverbs 15:1, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

It’s amazing what a simple “please” or “thank you” can do to soften your spouse’s heart. Or what the simple act of willingly getting out of a warm, cozy bed to go downstairs to stick the wet clothes in the dryer means to the spouse who gets to stay in the warm,

cozy bed . It’s just plain and simple courtesy, but when each word and act of kindness are added together, they can produce a mutually respectful and loving marriage.

All it takes is one kind word or one kind gesture to tip the scale toward kindness. And it just takes one person to start. So let’s be that one person.